Saturday, September 30, 2006
Captain's Log 12 - Bus Ride Home
I love taking bus home. I like to look out the window and watch as the world passes by me. It makes me wonder a lot of thing on life. While I was sitting on 963, I recalled a distinct dream which I had while I was sleeping in the prep room earlier that day. In my dream, I was relativity angry with someone. I could not recognize the face but I knew it was a female. I was so ticked off by her that I started using an array of colourful words to express my dissatisfaction with her behavior. I did this even though I was well aware that I am supposed to abstain from such act.
It makes me wonder why I committed such an act. Am I such a crude person? The answer is ‘Yes’. I use vulgarities all the time. Even in normal conversations. People say there are many ways to express oneself without having to resort to vulgarities. And I agree. However, I feel that I express myself best when I use such words. People see such words in their true extremely form. However, I do not see them as words I see them as an emotions that I wish to express. Can I use a substitute? No because to me the emotion is tied to that word. And to just replace it with another does not have the same feel too me. If you talk to me long enough you can notice that I pronounce a words a certain way. The reason being, there is an emotion that I have subconsciously tied to the word.
People always think that I am crazy all the time. Yes I am crazy but not all the time. In actually fact I am a very quite person. I talk when I want to or when I need to. Other than that I do not say anything. However, I love to go crazy. Being crazy keeps me sane. How one might ask? It helps me express what I feel deep down inside. Being crazy is something I am not willing to compromise for anyone. The day I cannot express who I am, that is the day would rather kill myself.
I believe in accepting people for who they are; dirty laundry, bad habits and all. When one chooses to accept people for who they are, that is when one can look pass their short comings and see their true potential. I believe that everyone is meant for greatness. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of what they are capably of doing. On occasion bad habit or certain characteristics may hinder ones growth. Does this mean we have to change that person? No, people are resistant to change. To do so is just a waste of effort. I believe in making people see the beauty in things and leave the rest to them. They have to make the leap. For, that is something no one can do for them.
The Animal
I am called 'the animal' for a reason
It makes me wonder why I committed such an act. Am I such a crude person? The answer is ‘Yes’. I use vulgarities all the time. Even in normal conversations. People say there are many ways to express oneself without having to resort to vulgarities. And I agree. However, I feel that I express myself best when I use such words. People see such words in their true extremely form. However, I do not see them as words I see them as an emotions that I wish to express. Can I use a substitute? No because to me the emotion is tied to that word. And to just replace it with another does not have the same feel too me. If you talk to me long enough you can notice that I pronounce a words a certain way. The reason being, there is an emotion that I have subconsciously tied to the word.
People always think that I am crazy all the time. Yes I am crazy but not all the time. In actually fact I am a very quite person. I talk when I want to or when I need to. Other than that I do not say anything. However, I love to go crazy. Being crazy keeps me sane. How one might ask? It helps me express what I feel deep down inside. Being crazy is something I am not willing to compromise for anyone. The day I cannot express who I am, that is the day would rather kill myself.
I believe in accepting people for who they are; dirty laundry, bad habits and all. When one chooses to accept people for who they are, that is when one can look pass their short comings and see their true potential. I believe that everyone is meant for greatness. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of what they are capably of doing. On occasion bad habit or certain characteristics may hinder ones growth. Does this mean we have to change that person? No, people are resistant to change. To do so is just a waste of effort. I believe in making people see the beauty in things and leave the rest to them. They have to make the leap. For, that is something no one can do for them.
The Animal
I am called 'the animal' for a reason
